10 Mar Addressing Trauma
When one thinks of the word “trauma” often what comes to mind is lasting emotional distress from military combat, sexual assault, or natural disasters. However, trauma comes in many forms. Think of it this way, “Have you ever experienced something in life so deeply distressing that it has forever negatively changed your view of life?” If you can answer “yes”, then it is likely you have had a traumatic experience.
Let’s take it a bit further, ask yourself the following questions:
• Have you ever found yourself increasingly isolating yourself from people and rejecting social invites?
• Are you avoiding people or places that reminded you of that awful experience?
• Are you becoming excessively angry for seemingly small circumstances?
• Are you overly hyperaware of your surroundings?
• Are you having frequent distressing dreams?
• Are you becoming more and more distrusting of others?
• Do you find that in your mind you are replaying the traumatic experience over and over again?
Then, it is likely that the traumatic experience has begun to negatively impact the way you view the world and how you interact with others. Additionally, it is likely that you have placed limitations on how you plan on having new experiences. While some of your actions may seem protective, they can also cause you to feel a bit of out of control. If you are struggling with managing your emotions, forming new meaningful relationships, or finding peace, it is best to seek professional mental health services. Therapy is a powerful tool for addressing deep, painful experiences, understanding its impact, and re-establishing emotional strength and a sense of empowerment. But in the interim, here are some things you can do to create balance and develop effective coping skills:
• Meditate: Meditation helps to silence the mental noise and affords you a break from the negative mental loop of bad memories. Meditation also helps to re-create balance in your energy.
• Be Present: Some may have the fortunate opportunity of having loved ones present. This includes parents, children, grandchildren, significant others, cousins, aunts/uncles, friends or even pets. When you are with your loved ones (especially those that cause the least distress), be present. Take in the experience, laugh a full laugh, smile genuinely, and embrace with both arms and pause. If your loved ones include your pets, use the experiences you have with him, her, or them to focus on your pet(s); engage intently. Engaging with loved ones helps you to recalibrate negative views about people and create opportunities for renewed trust.
• Engage in hobbies: Whether you enjoy working out, running, listening to music, being creative, or writing, whatever it may be- keeping doing it! Do not let it fall by the wayside. Engaging in hobbies helps you to remain in touch with your uniqueness and identity.
• Practice spirituality, if it is a part of your worldview: Not to be confused with religiosity. While religion relates to practices and customs, spirituality relates to a relationship. Engaging in spirituality helps to create meaning and can be an avenue of emotional release.
• Write: Keep a journal or just scribble on a napkin. Either way, writing allows you to express yourself and acknowledge your feelings. Your buried emotions need a place to go and it should not be displaced on your significant other or boss. Give it room to breathe in a safe place.
In order for these coping strategies to work, you must:
• Make it a regular practice in your life. For instance, reach out to loved ones or engage in hobbies as least once per week, or meditate daily. Making these coping strategies a regular practice does not mean you are going to want to every time, but try to as often as you can. A regular practice creates a routine that your body and mind can look forward to for a mental or physical break. This creates balance. You cannot control the bad that comes with life, but you can create opportunities for good.
• Protect the time that you engage in these coping strategies. Do not allow distractions, unexpected events, or even self-sabotage to distract you from protecting your mental health.
• Be intentional about making it a meaningful experience. Think of it as your gift to yourself. We have to take care of ourselves.
• Practice more than one coping strategy. Switch it up, mix it up! This helps you to remain engaged and interested.
Trauma can be a debilitating experience. Without intervention, one’s condition can begin to negatively impact every part of his/her life. If you find that managing trauma is becoming more than you can handle alone, seek professional mental health counseling.
Cindy Joseph, PhD – Licensed Psychologist (Texas & Georgia)